Here’s a couple questions I try to ask myself regularly. Maybe you do too. We can even make this a mental exercise we utilize to guide us. I’ll cover how to get truthful answers at the end of this post if you’re unsure how to answer these.
1. Why am I doing this?
2. Why am I avoiding that?
If upon reflection of the last year you find yourself far off the original mental depiction you had planned, the answers to the two questions can help keep you on track through the coming one.
With the first question I’m trying to decipher if the actions I’m taking make sense for where I’m trying to go. I try to answer honestly. Not in a justifying, make myself feel better way. Do my goals line up with what I’m doing on a daily basis? Am I truly utilizing my time, am I working on the right projects, am I REALLY working out with the effort I know I can? Or am I wasting time, taking the easy way out in the gym, or engaging in tasks that don’t move the needle?
The second question is a tough and uncomfortable one to confront. In fact it’s so uncomfortable that many humans choose to avoid it altogether. Maybe it’s your food choices, maybe it’s money habits, maybe it’s sabotaged relationships. Why are you avoiding looking into the behavior surrounding that area of life? Past trauma, fear of what feelings will come up, or maybe it just seems too damn overwhelming to change?
By no means is that always a question that can be answered the first time you ask yourself. It is a long and arduous process that can require sometimes YEARS to fully identify and work through. It may even require the assistance of therapy, meditation, or psychedelics to process. This is the WORK. The hard part you’ll immediately want to avoid. Don’t avoid it though, this is the hard shit that will help you start to remove the weight, the depression, the anxiety, the anger, or the fear.
Like I said, the problem most likely won’t go away upon looking at it once. The key here is though, that you’ve asked the question and begun the deep dive into why you’re acting that way. Some of the power has been taken away by simply examining it. We can identify the cycle, become aware. Then keep working.
If you’re not sure what bad habits you may have accumulated, read on.
Want to know a scary way to get truthful answers? Here comes the challenge. Ask other people! Let them know you’re seeking negative feedback to improve. Ask them to be honest with you, the key here is that you really trust this person.
TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT MY PROBLEMS?!
Yep! Simply state you’re looking to improve in an area of life and you trust them to answer truthfully and honestly. In the specific area of your choice, ask what they think you do best in regards to habits, and what common problem habits they regularly see.
If you’re needing some points of performance to get feedback on, for most areas, these are a good place to start:
Communication, Education, Effort, Discipline(Punctuality, organization, making excuses). Effort and discipline are similar but not the same.
Ask what you do best in these areas and where you can improve most.
Growth is never comfortable. Whether it is a physical growth spurt, an attempt at building larger muscles (the discomfort in the gym), growing your business, or personal growth. As we lead into the New Year, how uncomfortable are we willing to get in order to be closer to the ultimate expression of ourselves?
I want to make sure I’m headed in the right direction, and I hope you do too.
P.S. Drop in on our social media and let us know what you’re proudest moment of 2018 was and what strategies you used that were most helpful this year!